Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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