It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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