you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
