they need to just BURY HIM!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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