I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
