I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize