I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
