she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
