We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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