TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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