god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
