he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
