it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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