Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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