How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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