Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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