Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
that may or may not have been my penis.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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