how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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