I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
