I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
