Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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