wat bout pragnant strippers??
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize