She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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