Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
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I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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