please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
