Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
