Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
