like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
