who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
