i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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