I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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