i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
