Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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