when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize