I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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