addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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