its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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