who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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