Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
