We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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