I bet he comes in French.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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