how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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