so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
two words...techno handjob
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
