It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Randomize
