Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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