He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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