he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
