Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
