I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
