I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
