your parents love me but you hate me
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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