Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Blood and glitter go together right?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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