Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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