i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
