So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
