I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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