I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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