we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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