if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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