omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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