We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
