Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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