it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
