Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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